


musical chairs

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Bipolar Disorder, Background Dukeceit, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Prinxiety - Freeform, References to Depression, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24939568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Roman's concerned about his soulmate.If only he knew who he was...
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 31
Kudos: 264





	musical chairs

**Author's Note:**

> for anon prompt: "Virgil x Roman soulmate au where you hear all the songs your soulmate listens to, possibly?"
> 
> song lyrics are from mother mother "it's alright"

"I'm starting to worry about my soulmate," Roman announces at the breakfast table. His twin brother, Remus, looks up from the tower of waffles he's trying to construct, using honey as the glue, and frowns.

"Why?" Remus asks.

"Because they won't stop listening to 'I'm Not Okay (I Promise)' on repeat," Roman says. Remus laughs, stuffing a corner of waffle into his mouth.

"Sounds like they're just emo," Remus comments. 

"I think it's more than that," Roman says. "There used to be _variety_ , at least, in the emo songs. I- I kind of looked forward to it? You know I'm not particularly interested in the emo genre, but it's been nice to hear new music. But lately..."

"Try to find them," Remus suggests, waving a honey-soaked strip of waffle around for emphasis. Roman sighs.

"You think I haven't tried?" Roman says. "How do you go up and ask someone if you're their soulmate?"

"Yo bitch, are you my soulmate or are you just that damn hot?" Remus promptly says with a shrug. "Worked with Janus."

"I still have no idea how that worked," Roman says, eyeing his twin. Janus is absolutely nothing like him, yet Roman can't see his brother with anyone else.

"I'm just that good," Remus preens. "Come on, bro. There can't be _that_ many emos in this town."

"Assuming he lives here," Roman says, frowning. "He could live anywhere."

"Yeah, but why don't you try focusing on the positive for once?" Remus says around an enormous chunk of waffle. 

"Hey, I'll have you know I'm always positive!" Roman replies, stung. Familiar strains of My Chemical Romance begin to play in his head and he sighs. "Well, my soulmate is awake," he says. "And listening to the same song. Again."

"Maybe they're autistic and same-songing," Remus says. "If that's a thing. I mean, same-fooding is a thing, so why not same-songing?"

"Maybe," Roman echoes, doubtful. "But it's never happened before." He glances at the clock and jumps up. "I have class in thirty minutes. And so do you, so you might want to hurry up with your desecration of all that is waffle."

Remus cackles.

"I like that!" He says, between chortles. "Desecration of all that is waffle. Do you mind if I use that as lyrics for my band?"

"You don't have a band," Roman retorts. "But sure." And with that, Roman's gone, snagging his backpack and dashing for the city bus.

_I had a night, I had a day_   
_I did one million stupid things_   
_I said one billion foolish things_   
_I'm not okay_   
_I got a baseball bat beside my bed_   
_The fight I fought inside my head_   
_The fight I fought behind my meds_   
_I'm lonely, lost in pain_

Virgil stares at the red D circled at the top of his paper and barely suppresses a groan. He can't make himself care anymore. He knows that's a problem, but he can't make himself care about that, either. Everything feels like he's on a slow slide to the depths of a depressive episode, just like in high school, and he has no idea how to stop it. His medication's not working anymore, but the soonest he can see his psychiatrist is in a month. By that time, he will almost certainly have flunked everything. At this rate, he's almost praying for a manic episode, just so maybe he can clear some of his backlog of homework.

What's even better is the fact that this was _supposed_ to be an easy class for him. He's always been interested in creative writing. He even got a story published in the high school literature magazine. It wasn't a big thing, but it was still _something._

"Hey," the person next to him whispers. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he hisses back, his tone brittle. Now he recognizes him. Roman Kingsley. He's always getting his work read aloud, and it's always some high fantasy shit, with princes and dragon witches and castles. Nothing like Virgil's bleak tales, when he can force himself to scribble something down for their assignments. 

Before he can say anything else, the professor announces that class is over, and there's a welcome scramble for bags. Virgil stuffs everything in his backpack, trying to hide the incriminating 'D', before yanking out his headphones and putting on his new anthem. He knows it's probably a bad sign that he can't stop listening to it, but he doesn't care. It's a welcome reprieve from all the Disney and musical theater shit that his soulmate subjects him to (even if secretly, he kind of likes it, especially when it's Heathers).

As "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" blares through his headphones, he notices Roman standing stock still, staring at him. He pulls his headphones to the side, leaving one ear exposed. 

"What?" He asks, defensive.

"Is that My Chemical Romance?" Roman asks. He has a strange look on his face, one that Virgil can't decipher.

"Uh, yeah," he says. "It's 'I'm Not Okay (I Promise)'." Roman's mouth sags open in surprise and Virgil backs away, his hands clenching tightly on his backpack straps. "Uh, gotta go, next class, you know," he mumbles, and rushes off.

_It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay_   
_You're not a monster, just a human_   
_And you made a few mistakes_   
_It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay_   
_You're not gruesome, just human_   
_And you made a few mistakes_   
_It's alright, oh, it's okay_

"Remus, holy shit," Roman says, slamming back the door and entering their shared apartment. Remus looks up from his sprawled out position on the couch, head in his soulmate Janus's lap.

"Is this a twin only conversation?" Janus asks, raising an eyebrow. Roman thinks for a moment, then shakes his head.

"No, I don't care if you hear," he says. He's both jubilant and desperately worried. A strange combination, bubbling away in his veins. "I think I found my soulmate."

"No shit, really?" Remus asks in surprise. "Damn, bro, that was fast."

"He's in my creative writing class," Roman says. "When he put on his headphones, I heard that song. Both outside _and_ inside my head."

"So who is he?" Remus prods.

"Virgil Storm," Roman says. Janus's eyes widen. "What?" Roman asks.

"He's my hallmate," Janus says. "Lives in the same hall as me."

"Small world," Remus chimes in. "So. Are you gonna tell him?"

"How?" Roman asks, flopping into their recliner. "How do I even bring that up? Especially when-" He swallows. "I- I didn't mean to look, but I saw his grade on our last assignment. He got a D. He just looked so- so _sad_ , I asked if he was okay, and he said yes, but he didn't sound it. And then all this- I don't know how to bring up that I think he's my soulmate."

"Do to him what he inadvertently did to you," Remus suggests. "Listen to a song where he can hear it. If it's in his head, too, maybe he'll say something."

"Maybe," Roman says. "I can't think of any other way to do it." He sighs. My Chemical Romance pounds in his head, weaving through his thoughts. "I'll try next class," he decides. "What kind of song should I choose?"

"Well," Janus begins, a speculative look on his face. "If you're worried about him, maybe you should choose a song that's related to that. Might I suggest the song 'It's Alright' by Mother Mother?" Janus pulls out his phone and opens Youtube, tapping out a search query with gloved fingers. The gloves are because of Janus's psoriasis, Roman's learned. They almost always coordinate with his outfit for the day, although he's partial to the yellow ones.

Roman frowns a little as the song starts out, but by the time the chorus rushes in, he's nodding his head to the beat.

"I hope he can hear this now," Roman says.

"Hey, wanna hear one of my fave songs?" Remus asks, snickering. Roman jumps up in alarm.

"No, thank you," he says, and flees to the safety of his room, leaving his giggling twin behind.

_Goddamn_   
_I throw a brick right through the window_   
_My life ignored the signals_   
_I'm high and drunk on ego, can't see straight_   
_So I just feel my way around and_   
_I'm touching and I'm grabbing everything I can't be havin'_   
_I am broken down in shame_

As soon as Virgil reaches his room, he locks the door behind him, tears already streaking down his face and messing up his eye shadow. He slumps to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees, and buries his face in them, letting his shoulders shake with silent sobs.

_Why do I have to be such a fuck up?_ He thinks, trying not to think about the other assignments now crumpled in his backpack. The 'D' from creative writing was generous, apparently. He's flunking chemistry and statistics. He's barely clinging onto a passing grade in introduction to psychology, and that's because most of the homework in that class is utterly mindless.

As he pulls his headphones off, ready to crawl into bed and depression nap until hunger drives him out the door, he stops, his head cocked to one side. He's used to a litany of Disney songs floating through his head, obnoxiously cheerful and upbeat. Musical theater brings a few new notes to it, but nothing major. At first glance, this is similar, but-

The words-

_It's alright, it's okay, you're not a monster, just a human, and you made a few mistakes..._

Virgil swallows hard, fresh tears threatening. It feels like a missive delivered straight to his heart, soothing a few jagged edges he didn't even know were there. Did his soulmate choose this song on purpose? Is it a message to him, or pure coincidence? 

_It's probably just a coincidence,_ he decides, as he climbs into bed and pulls his weighted blanket over himself. His soulmate can't know there's something actually wrong with him. Just because he's been playing the same song on repeat... Hell, his soulmate probably can't even tell the difference between emo songs, judging by his own musical preferences. It's just happenstance that they put that song on, and Virgil heard it.

It still softens something deep inside him, letting him fall asleep and have untroubled dreams for the first time in months.

_It's alright, It's okay, it's alright, it's okay_   
_You're not a demon, there's a reason_   
_You behaved in that way_   
_It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay_   
_And I believe, yes I believe that you will see a better day_   
_It's alright, oh, it's okay, oh, it's alright_

Roman has to wait two days for his next creative writing class. He fills that time with his usual medley of Disney songs, but his mind is too preoccupied to pay attention. The replays of "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" haven't stopped. If anything, they've increased, and at this point, Roman wants to take his soulmate by the shoulders and shout that he understands the damn promise already, now can they work on making it _better_?

"You look fancy," Remus observes at breakfast. Roman flushes, looking down at his outfit. It's not _that_ dressy, but he definitely went with the jeans that show off his ass, and a skin-skimming tee shirt. It's red, with a gold crown on the front, and it's Roman's favorite.

"You only say that because I'm not wearing anything dirty or full of holes," Roman says. Remus grins, rocking his chair back on its back legs, as he eats a frozen Uncrustable. 

"So?" He says. "I'm still right. It's for your soooooulmate, isn't it." Roman feels a blush climb up his neck and splatter across his cheeks as Remus brays a smug laugh.

"Knew it!" Remus crows.

"Wish me luck," Roman says, his stomach twisting itself up into knots. "I'm gonna try to skip the verse, so he hears the chorus first. Do you think that will help?"

"I dunno," Remus says. "But good luck!"

Roman enters his creative writing classroom with his heart feeling like it's permanently lodged itself in his throat. Virgil's there, thankfully, slumped in his chair and tapping his pen idly against a piece of paper in front of him. Roman sits in his customary seat, to Virgil's side, his stomach lurching. What if Virgil isn't his soulmate after all and it was just a coincidence? What if Virgil _is_ his soulmate? He peeks at Virgil through his peripheral vision. He'd like it if Virgil is his soulmate. Virgil is cute, with messy black eye shadow and purple-dyed hair. He's always wearing a baggy purple plaid-patched hoodie, but Roman thinks he has a nice body underneath, judging by his legs in black skinny jeans.

Class passes him by in a daze. More than once, he actually catches _Virgil_ looking at him, as if his classmate is wondering what's wrong with _him_. He usually participates in class more, but he can't make himself concentrate, not when he's looking forward to potentially meeting his soulmate.

Finally- _finally_ the professor dismisses them and Roman hauls out his earbuds faster than he's ever plucked anything from his pockets in his life, blaring the music as loud as he can manage without getting a scolding from anyone else.

_It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay, you're not a monster, just human..._

The effect on Virgil is galvanic. He stiffens steel-straight, then whirls, his eyes huge and panic fluttering butterfly wings in those brown and green irises. (How has Roman never noticed he has heterochromia?)

"You-" Virgil starts to say, then shuts his mouth. Roman hits 'stop' on his music.

"Well, if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say," Roman sings, very quietly. Virgil's mouth drops open.

"I think we're soulmates," Roman blurts out. "At least uh, if you've been the one blasting My Chemical Romance in my head for weeks..."

"That song," Virgil breathes. "The other night... I heard it, um." He shuffles his feet, looking down. "It really uh, it helped."

"Good," Roman says softly. "I'm glad. It was meant to."

"So er-" Virgil grabs his backpack and awkwardly settles it on his back. "What now?"

"Want to go to a coffee shop or something?" Roman offers. Virgil nods stiffly.

"That sounds nice," he mumbles. "Also, uh, you should know..." He swallows hard. "I have bipolar disorder," Virgil rushes out. "And my meds aren't working, so that's kinda part of why I've been listening to that song so much? I'm kinda failing most of my classes, and my life's a raging trash fire right now, and if you wanna bail on that, I totally get it, I'd wanna bail, too, I just-"

"Hey," Roman gently interrupts. "I don't want to bail. I want to get to know you. I want to help you. That's what soulmates do, right?"

"Uh, I guess," Virgil says. Roman smiles softly at him.

"Then that's what I'll do," Roman says. "Also my brother and his soulmate might be able to help with tutoring. I don't know if you know my brother, but you know his soulmate. Janus?"

"Oh yeah," Virgil nods. "We live in the same dorm. Is your brother Remus then?"

"Yeah," Roman says. "He's...a character." Virgil lets out a shaky laugh.

"That's one word for him," he says. "So uh..." He looks around at the empty classroom. "Coffee shop?"

"Coffee shop," Roman agrees.


End file.
